N00b Sonic Fans Make Me Laugh...

...'cause they're so frickin' stupid.

Hey, it's n5d25d90 here, with a new rant. A rant that I hope you Sonic fans will find mildy interesting. And if not, oh well.

Okay, first thing's first: if you are a Sonic fan and you were born after 1996, you don't know crap about Sonic. Quit acting like you know everything about it and maybe - just maybe - we'll let you on the Sonic bandwagon.

Oh, and for your convenience, here's how you know you were born before 1996:

- You don't give a crap about chao (except Cheese, 'cause he rocks).
- You know Tails is a guy, but sometimes you like to think he's a girl 'cause - let's face it - he got booty.
- You refer to Dr. Eggman as Dr. Robotnik, and you miss his "walrus teeth" outfit (complete with a cape that you almost never really see).
- You remember Sonic before he became "anorexic".
- You remember when Knuckles didn't have to punch a wall to break it down - he just walks through it.
- You remember Debug Mode (good times... good times...).
- You appreciate the music of the best band to ever contribute to Sonic the Hedgehog, Dreams Come True.
- You appreciate the remixes of the music contributed by Dreams Come True in Sonic Advance.
- You actually recall the music contributed by Dreams Come True that were remixed in Sonic Advance.
- Amy was younger and (probably) less of a slut.
- Mecha Sonic pwned.
- Egg Robo pwned.
- The Death Egg was the best Star Wars rip-off ever in your eyes.
- Super Sonic was the best DBZ rip-off ever in your eyes.
- You remember Urkel playing Sonic in three different TV spin-offs.
- You remember when it was only Sonic and Robotnik (and you also remember when there were only six chaos emeralds).
- You remember when special stages were actually easier than the game.
- You remember when Sonic almost kicked Mario's butt in terms of most-loved game mascot.
- Knux always got the hard parts of levels...
- Either Sonic 2 or 3/Knuckles is your favorite Sonic game of all time.
- Knux getting electrocuted in Hidden Palace Zone was the most "shocking" plot development you've ever seen in any Sonic game.
- The Wrecking Ball Pendelum thing will forever be sketched into your mind, along with everything else from Green Hill Zone.
- No one made you laugh harder than Scratch and Grounder. Admit it!

Now for the n00bs that hate Sally for no good reason: this next part is for you.

First of all, Sally may not have been made by Sonic Team, but... heh heh... neither was Amy. Therefore, don't use this as an excuse.

Second, we all know why you really hate Sally. It's not because she's "nude". It's because you want Amy to have Sonic. Here's how I know this:

1. I don't know if you've ever noticed this before... but Sonic's nude too.
2. Tails is nude too.
3. Knuckles is nude too.
4. Cheese technically is nude too, but the bow-tie is too distracting for you to notice anyway. Plus, he looks like a blue Fawful, and that's also very distracting.
5. All the aforementioned are males and... let's face it... they have waaaaaaay more to hide than the girls do. But then again, most of you Sally-haters are girls who probably have never seen one of those things anyway and you're not really sure they exist.
6. How can you call Sally a slut when Amy constantly flashes her panties in virtually every game she's ever been in?
7. Maybe it's just your fantasy. I mean, Sally is relatively mild mannered and would never want to hurt anyone. Amy, on the other hand, is a controlling, maniacal, stereotypically whiny self-proclaimed girlfriend/stalker/fangirl of Sonic the Hedgehog and threatens him constantly with a giant mallet. Because of this, I assume you like to control guys too and make them sleep on the couch just for forgetting it was your second cousin's birthday. I also assume you too would love to hit said guy with a giant mallet for actually having an opinion and/or free will.

Because of this, I proclaim that Sally haters' opinions are null and void, because they have no frickin' clue what they're talking about.

This is merely an example, by the way. I know a lot of pairings that have flamers that have no idea what they are talking about, and when the time comes, you'll get yours.

Thus ends my rant... for now. And before you think that I don't know what I'm talking about, think of this:

I've been a Sonic fan since I was... oh, I don't know... two?

Checkmate.

I'm up, over, and gone. Peace out.

Nickelodeon and DeviantART: Idiots In Charge

I'm sure most of you will agree with me on this one.

What is n5d25d90 ranting about this time? The two things that everyone wishes were human beings so they can punch these two in the face.

So now it's about time we punch Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber.

Let's start with Tweedle-Dumb: Nickelodeon. Now, I really had a hard time figuring out which one was the "Dumber" of the two, so I just went with the order I listed them earlier.

Here's the deal: Our favorite little cat-based Mexican superhero (I had to say Mexican 'cause otherwise Catman would fit that category too) has been cancelled, or at least that's what I read on the internet, so the truth in it is still kinda sketchy, but knowing Nickelodeon... it probably was.

What the heck is up with Nickelodeon cancelling all the good shows? Did they just look at the ratings and say "Oh, everyone else likes this show, but 6 year olds don't and that's who we want to target in our quest for world domination. Therefore, we'll keep playing the same old crap we've been playing since 1999 (that includes you SpongeBob -- you're dried up. Jump back in the lake), but all the good stuff that everyone loves will be flushed down the toilet. Now, who wants a mudpie?" That last part is to show that these guys have no frickin' clue how to run a business as they are pretty much idiots.

I believe I once said something along the lines of the following: If El Tigre, whom I believe to be Viacom's last hope, were to follow the footsteps of MLaaTR, Angry Beavers, and Invader ZIM, I'd stop watching Nickelodeon altogether. Well, it's starting to get to that point.

Nickelodeon, you fail at life.

Now for Tweedle-Dumber: DeviantART.

You ever notice that things seemed to go downhill since Jark left? Hmm? Hint hint...

The name of the site is DEVIANTART!!! And yet anything that shows cartoon characters who are CLEARLY over 18 in the picture (despite being younger in the shows) -- it doesn't even have to be "mature" at all, all that matters if she has boobs -- gets taken off. Ironically, any REAL picture of some girl getting raped, tortured, tied down, bonded up, etc. IT'S OKAY!! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! IT'S JUST THE PERSON "EXPRESSING" THEMSELVES!!!

What kind of moron do you take us for, DeviantART?

And if someone simly reports another person for stealing art when they didn't (ie: Kris Wilson) because they didn't think it was really that person... wow. A little research might help prevent the controversal could-have-been-solved-in-many-other-ways event that occured afterwards.

The only reason why I even go back there is to see how my cyber pals are doing.

DeviantART, you fail at life too.

*punches Nickelodeon and DeviantART in the face*

Someone had to do it.

I Have No Life!!!

If that got anyone's attention, good for you!!!

Someone I know from school found me on MySpace. God help me! (Sarcasm...to some extent...)

No one seems to like my BONZ stuff. I wonder how many people will like it when and if I become famous off of it. That's why most famous people don't reply to your e-mails: you never paid attention to them before they got famous, so why should they give a flying pig?

I guess I should be happy for all the fans I do have, like that one fan of Aftermath I have probably greatly disappointed by now, but then again I was the last person to update ANYTHING on Phantom Fiction, so I guess no one really cared after all.

BONZ will pwn joo all someday!!!

In other news, that dang "self-portrait" on my MySpace just WON'T GO AWAY!!!!!! I even deleted it off my freakin' hard drive for crying out loud!!!

Well, that's it for my Jhonen-inspired rant. Who wants cake?

The Difference Between Allusions and "Thieving"

Today was one of the best days of my life.

Why?

A.) I found out that a lot of my classmates think I'm an awesome artist.

B.) One of my friends sang a song he wrote over summer.

C.) Nothing negative happened.

D.) I got to help with the Seniors' Homecoming float.

E.) I found this blog:

http://familyguysteals.blogspot.com/

This truly is the best day of my life.

Seriously, what the heck is wrong with people these days? "That is too cliche! That joke was used three years ago by some comedian, not that anyone remembers him or her saying it. That happened in such-and-such movie."

But the best one, which happens to be on this site:

Death on Family Guy looks like Death on South Park.

...

If only you could see how hard I'm laughing right now.

I mean, COME ON!!! A skeleton in a robe with a scythe......................portraying DEATH?!

Why don't you just complain to this guy? http://hurtermonkey.blogspot.com/

I swear he made a career off of "ripping off that character from South Park".

Listen and listen carefully, 'cause if you believe Family Guy really is stealing jokes instead of making allusions to them, AND they're the only ones that do this, you probably won't pick this up right away with your tiny little brain: it's called an allusion!

(Imitating the guy with the Family Guy Steals blog) Duh...Ain't an allusion what a magician does?

No! An allusion is where you make reference to something. It's common on EVERY FRICKIN' SHOW ON EARTH! Billy and Mandy does it, Danny Phantom does it, Kim Possible does it ('cause clearly a creature living in a swampy camp was highly original), SOUTH PARK does it, and so does Family Guy.

Seriously, though...you need a brain transplant if you really thought the South Park version of Death was the original. Or a life.

Now, you think I'm being an idiot? An imbecile? Am I really taking this too far? Well, prove me wrong.

Yeah. You heard me.

I CHALLANGE YOU to prove me wrong if you disagree with me! Make your own show, don't have any cliches or "stolen ideas", and let's see how long your show lasts.

It probably won't even air. After all, you probably wouldn't be able to come up with one in the first place.

Flies Flies Everywhere...

...And not a moment of sanity to have.

Seriously though, if there's anything that would ever drive me to the brink of insanity, it would be the five or six flies attacking my head when I'm trying to sleep.

School's been doing okay... so far. And there are relatively no flies there, so that's good.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep my honor roll status intact. If not, well... that's life.

*swats away fly* Seriously, these things are getting annoying. I guess that's one of the many drawbacks of living on a farm, huh?

The Wikipedia for "F***tards"

It seems like I find out about so many Wikia sites everyday up to this point. Just recently, I've seen one on Final Fantasy and another on Anthro characters.

Today I found another: Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Or as I like to call it: so stupid and mean, it's funny. Much like X-Play, but with swearing.

F***tard seems to be a common phrase on there. That's why I have that in the title. Another is the "word" lulz.

If you're sensitive about the stuff you like, you probably shouldn't think about going there. I, on the other hand, find it funny 'cause they're just making themselves sound like know-it-all d-bags.

Here are some examples of their... "general knowledge".

- Atomic Betty can kick Danny Phantom's "butt" (<-- paraphrasing).
- The Grim Adventures of Retard and Emo Girl.
- Danny Phantom is unoriginal.
- Mindy (B&M) is (and I'm paraphrasing again) an ugly whore.

Okay, so I sorta agree with the last one, but that's what makes that one funnier. ^-^

So here's my OWN article of Encyclopedia Dramatica:

Encyclopedia Dramatica is full of whiny Wikipedia rejects in need of a life. Trust me. I know when someone needs a life (who better to know than someone who already doesn't have one?). The site is full of more controversy than a non-family-oriented Eminem song.

...

Let me rephrase that last part: the site is full of more controversy than a non-HAILIE-oriented Eminem song.

Curse You, G4!

I was very disappointed with G4. As much as I love the channel (I am a nerd, after all), they did not do what they said they were going to do.

They always say "We talk about all the stuff you care about" and recently they said "We'll give you exclusive coverage of everything at Comic-Con".

So I watched.

And waited.

And I asked myself:

"Where in the fuzzy cupcakes of crud is the Billy and Mandy fricken panel?"

Exclusive coverage of everything at Comic-Con my a-double-s.

However, I do have to say that, though I was disappointed, I was still entertained. And I guess the fact that they had Adam de la Pena and an artist from Futurama on there was pretty cool. But I'm still very disappointed.

Shame on you, G4. Shame, shame, shame.